Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Topics: Royal Mail

Friday, 11 February 2011

image for Postage prices will be better value for money in the future.
Don't forget the stamp!

Since regulators turned down Royal Mails request to raise postage prices in 2011 last year they have been looking at ways of ensuring their request will sail through the regulators net next time.They believe they've come up with a plan that will appeal to everyone.

"It can't fail," explained Royal Mails Sir Walter Walnuthead, "and it's so simple it's amazing we didn't think of it before.We will just increase the sizes of the stamps as well.We intend to have first and second class stamps go up by 100% in price but will make the actual stamps 500% larger.Psychologically the customer will think they are 300% better off overall you see.We intend to repeat the same thing every year until around 2018 when we'll then do away with the need to have both the envelope and the stamp.Instead the envelope will also BE the stamp!"

Whether people will really believe they're getting much more for their money remains to be seen of course.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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