Written by grimbo
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Topics: Crime

Thursday, 10 February 2011

image for Crime Figures Update

The Association of Chief Police Officers yesterday released their annual statement. A source was pleased to announce that the number of serious crimes reported to the police fell last year, while there was a similar reduction in minor offences reported in the same period.

The most significant statistic , however, was that all 44 forces in England and Wales reported that , for the first time in 5 years, none of them had had to arrest Amy Winehouse for any kind of drug offences - even for having a wee puff of blow.

Progress indeed, but an unnamed police source added "there is no room for complacency".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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