In a move to stifle creativity in young children, the Deputy Prime Cheesemaker, Nick Clegg announced that he was planning to launch a series of pop-up books that promoted the coalition to small, easily pleased children.
Interviewed on a three foot scotch Egg, Clegg told the baying press that each pop up book would re-enact landmark cabinet meetings, such as when the government decided to legalise Children and when it ordered for Jeremy Kyle to be fired out of a very watery Cannon.
Each book will be painfully hand-painted by Vince Cable and Francis Maude. The book will be lifesize, apart from Eric Pickles, who will be miniturised, and will be represented in the shape of a Cake iced with heroin.
Book shop people "Waterstones" stated..."We'll order a couple. If they came with an actual Cabinet member that people could abuse, then there might be more a take up in the book...I can't see much point of Chirs Hulme being in it..the children will only spit at him"..
A previous attempt to produce such a book in the 80's fell foul of decency laws, and in a rogue jesture, the artists represented Maggie Thatcher as a dwarf bereft of bones. She was know as "Floppy Maggie" ever since.