Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Old People, Theft

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

image for Robber-Bashing 'Supergran': "I Use A Wheelchair... To F--k B-tches Up!"
Supergran wants to kiss yo dick.

A British pensioner (English for 'welfare recipient') brought a swift end to a daring jewel heist, when she clobbered a gang of six armed men with her handbag during a jewelry heist.

The woman, who refers to herself as "SuperGran" declined to be named, told a local newspaper she was talking to a woman in Northampton, the Siberia of central England, when she heard a commotion and saw six young men on faggoty little scooters.

"What up this ya gurl SuperGran. 4 da bitches who dont know I'm a nice, sweet, layed back ho," she wrote on her Facebook wall. I dont f--k with 2 many bitches, but if a brother get on my bad side itll be yo ass."

"One thing I dont play bout is jewelry store robbers. I will eat yo ass up if you f--k around with my bling."

A video clip of the woman, dressed in camoflage and fishnet tights, dashing down a busy street armed only with a black handbag has been broadcast worldwide.

"Once I got up in it I knew dis sh-t was a robbery," she told the newspaper. "I'm from the bottom and I aint fraid to say this sh-t. 4 you hoes that aint know it im fixin to be 88 years old and aint no one stopping my show so move bitch get out the way."

The woman can be seeing beating the sh-t out of three men with her handbag as they used sledgehammers to smash the windows of a jewelry store, while three accomplices waited nearby on Vespas.

Four men aged 18, 22, 25 and 39 were arrested shortly after the incident, police said. Officers are still searching for two other suspects.

For those two, SuperGran has written a rap song.

"You talk mad sh-t and say it without a trace. / Come on and be a big boy and say it to my face, / If ya cant walk the walk dont talk the talk. / Cuz you fake-ass bitches get outlined in chalk."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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