London - (Karmic Mess): A man described as a former equerry to lardarse impostor the Queen Mother has had a spot of bother.
Forty nine year-old Niall Hall was carjacked, stripped naked, robbed and abused by thugs who then cleaned out his bank accounts.
UK red tops reported today that the thieves took his £20,000 4x4, a briefcase, a BlackBerry, an expensive Tag Heuer watch and a Member of the Royal Victorian Order medal.
The gong was a gift for services to the Queen Mother, a notorious KGB whore and Illuminati hitwoman employed by the Hellfire Club of Great Britain.
The terrifying ordeal was today described as spookily karmic given that it was a carbon copy of the late Queen Mother's own modus operandi.
"The old soak had to feed her gambling addiction," royal sources have explained, "and did so by exerting her expertise as a brutal thug."
Camilla Fucker-Proles is her god daughter.