Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Ass

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

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Cameron Is Determined To Keep His 'Arse' Intact

The British government are reportedly giving serious consideration to a request from the White House (on Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, County Durham) to have the word 'arse' expunged from all dictionaries, and replaced with the word 'ass' - which is quite popular among Americans, Canadians, and the Japanese.

President Obama himself has recently admitted that he rarely says the word 'arse' - opting instead for the more widely spoken variant 'ass' because: "that's the American way."

All of the ensuing angry exchanges between grammatical purists, lexicographers and linguists who can occasionally be cunning, revolve around a non-specific reference to what could be interpreted as the buttocks or the actual anus - it's never really been altogether clear.

PM David Cameron though, appeared to come out in favour of the traditional British term, 'arse' - telling Parliament at PMQ's:

"Let's be perfectly clear about this: my arse is my arse. That is my right. Furthermore, as much as I value the special relationships we currently enjoy with The United States, Canada, and parts of Japan, my arse is my arse. It is my right in a constitutional society to talk out of my arse. My arse is my arse - not an ass - that would mean a donkey. Talking out of one's donkey does not quite have the same level of gravitas as talking out of one's arse."

The statement prompted a fierce backlash from 'ass' lovers, who complained that 'arse' is antiquated and way past its sell by date, and thus should be replaced with the wider variant 'ass.'

Former chat show host Jonathan Ross added:

"It's all bollocks anyway."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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