Written by j.w.
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Monday, 7 February 2011

image for Koala Bear Found up tree in Huddersfield
Fears of Bear mass Immigration

Residents of Huddersfield, Yorkshire have been gazing up a local tree where a Koala Bear is sitting. Staff from a local Zoo are present with a supply of eucalyptus leaves for the Bear as this is his favourite food.

The Bear comes down for a munch now and again but is being left where he is because he seems happy there.

Chief scientist at the Zoo, Dr Don Bradman, spoke to reporters and photographers outside the Koala Bear's new home attempting to explain why the Aussie immigrant had settled at 43 Belvedere Close.

'Basically it is the Australian weather. This Koala is tired of floods, hurricanes and stifling heat. Plans to bring over more distressed Koala Bears are being made and the Australian Koala Bear Defence League is working with us on this. We have spoken to Immigration officials who referred us to the Chief Vet. She passed us on to the solver of all difficult problems - Nick Clegg.'

Speaking on the phone to Nick Clegg I got a short reply to my query about whether more Koala Bears could be brought into the country.
'I don't think we could bear mass immigration of this type.'

Fears are growing that soon there will be no trees left for Koala Bears to sit in and plans to make Koala Cola out of Bear's pee have been kicked into the long grass.

The Mayor Huddersfield is travelling to France to see if he can find a suitable Camem Bear to mate with the Koala, but he has been advised that the resultant smell might put off tourists.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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