Petite speaker John Bercow, 5'3', was forced to apologize after a physical row with Ed Miliband when he took offense to the Labour Leader licking his lips incessantly while ogling the recent naked picture of his wife Sally, 6'7" smeared all over local tabloids.
Sally, clad in only a KING sized sheet, which prominently featured her erect nipples and marvellously framed Brazilian mons pubis highlighted against Big Ben during a cool breeze,
has set most MP's talking, and scurrying to the loo with the latest copy of the un airbrushed
pictures and out takes from the shoot released on Facebook.
Shortly after 'Little John' bitch slapped Ed in the corridor to the House of Commons over the perceived affront, it was revealed that Milbrand suffers from a life long affliction of '
"Lizard Tongue' causing him to incessantly lick his lips in a serpent like manner.
A spokesman for the Body Language Institute, identified only as "Krazy Lady 69, PhD",
said that there was no cure for the odd affliction, but only about 1 in 300M adults were burdened with it, although she said, "sometimes I wish there were more...it kinds of turns my on in an kinky perverse way!"
Meanwhile, Ed's common law wife, Justine Thornton , indicated that the father of her two children born out of wedlock might be moving closer to marriage. "Last night over
take away and candlelight, he indicated he might pop the question soon...I can't wait!"
Rumour has it that "Justine" was named after the first of the Marquis de Sade's sensational novels "The Misfortunes of Virtue" featuring a despoiled virgin of the same name, a charge that Ed , licking his lips said, "had no basis in fact."
Said an insider involved in Bizarre UK politics and sex practices cynically, " I bet it was just a lick and a promise...he's a slinky BASTARD with a forked tongue, that 'un!"