Written by Ellis Ian Fields
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 5 February 2011

image for Blood Test Fast Sends Spoof Writer Over The Edge

Fasting for nearly 16 hours before a blood test sent a Spoof correspondent on a high street food-grabbing spree before he was arrested by police yesterday.

Head of EIF News & Features Ellis Ian Fields was scheduled for his annual blood test at 11.50am yesterday.

He explains: "The instructions tell you to fast from 8pm the previous evening. It never bothered me before because I've usually been given a much earlier time.

"But as I went through the morning, stomach grumbling embarrassingly, it occurred to me that it was ridiculous that a fast should be from 8pm the previous day whether you are scheduled for an 8am or a 12 noon test!

"Anyway, I had my test on time, but then my appointment with the surgery nurse was delayed by 20 minutes for some reason. So, come nearl 1pm I'm getting really angry - not to mention ravenous! No wonder the nurse found my blood pressure a little high.

"I got out of the surgery but the next thing I remember is being in a cell at Chiswick nick."

A police spokesman told us: "We received calls from several food outlets on Chiswick High Road complaining about a man raiding the shelves, stuffing his face and running out without paying.

"We caught up with him at Waitrose, unwrapping a Melton Mowbray pork pie."

Mr Fields continued: "When I came round in the nick, I tried to call my colleague and so-called mate Colonel Juan to come and get me out - but he claimed to be "entertaining" some young female students. Yeah right! Thanks Colonel!"

Mr Fields will appear before Hounslow magistrates next week.

Make Ellis Ian Fields's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 1?

9 24 23 2
60 readers are online right now!

Go to top