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Topics: john Bercow

Friday, 4 February 2011

image for Storm in a Bedsheet - Mr Bercow Will Go Potty
Photo Shoot for London Evening Standard Costs Sally an Arm and a Leg

"'I look a complete idiot': Sally Bercow reacts to the furore over the 'storm in a bedsheet' photoshoot in front of Parliament

Sally Bercow, wife of the House of Commons Speaker, today admitted she had been "stitched up like a kipper" and had made a fool of herself. She appeared in the nude draped only in a bedsheet.

Mrs Bercow admitted that she had been a "stupid cow" and that she was embarrassed by the furore which the photoshoot had caused.

The brazen hussy claimed that she felt incredibly sexy as her pint sized husband's power had acted like an aphrodisiac.

Sally is reportedly going to pose for a nude calendar shoot posing in husband John's ceremonial robes. It is rumoured that John Prescott has admired the attractive blonds charms and has said, "You alright love - would you like to pose naked on top of my jag." She is going to pose provocatively in her grace and favour apartment and realise her dream of being the thinking man's Katie Price. "I have my own personality and ambitions to be a Page 3 girl".

The Carla Bruni of Westminster claimed that men had kept hitting on her as one of Parliament's hottest babes. She admitted it was a turn-on that diminutive, pint sized husband John had also been hit upon by Cameron's cuties.

She said that she was thinking of holding a "Bunga Bunga" party and taking a leaf out of Berlusconi's book. I was thinking of inviting Lembit Opik up to get the party started.

However, her hubby's career is in jeopardy and MPS' from all parties are saying that he should resign.

Prudish David Cameron has said that he has had enough of this sleaze and is now banning all spouses of MPs from cashing in on their partners fame.

He said Sam would never behave like a slut and knows how to behave with dignity. He said that he was getting a bit fed up of the Bercows.

The Prime Minister has reputedly whined to Nick Clegg, "I don't know why we got rid of that old booby George Martin. Even he was not so embarrassing as that stupid Moo-Cow, Bercow. Clegg, reportedly said that he had seen Sally Bercow flashing her charms through her chamber window by gas-light the other night. Since this incident he has requested that an paperwork must be put into her red-box by 3 pm as he wants to do a runner before Sally returns from the school-run. He said some women find me incredibly attractive now that I am deputy PM; I am having women hitting on me all the time."

The Bercows are reportedly hiring Max Clifford to be their agent and negotiate their stories in the Sunday newspapers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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