Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Friday, 4 February 2011

image for Sally Bercow's Love Life Too Public, Say Neighbours
It's a proper turn-on, all right!

Revelations that John and Helen Bercow's love life has been boosted by living in their official apartment are no surprise to embarrassed neighbours.

House of Commons' Speaker's wife Helen has astonished Parliament by taking part in a photo shoot, seductively draped in just a sheet which falls suggestively open at the thigh.

Mrs Bercow, a Labour MP herself, said, in an interview accompanying the photos, that the view of Big Ben from their apartment helped to "spice up" the couple's life.

"You're not bloody kidding!" said one neightbour. "At it like bloody rabbits - all hours of the day and night!

"It's all sexy music and her screaming at the top of her voice - like that woman in that film... all 'Yes, yes, yes...' and 'Do me, big boy...' you know.

"And what with the irregular hours MP keep, it can be any time of day and night. Keeps me awake."

Another added: "I've got a couple of kids and they're always asking what the noise is. It's embarrassing - that head board keeps knocking against the wall.

"And they have the windows open. They're shameless.

"You don't like to say anything - you never know if you might get a visit from the secret service, do you?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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