Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 1 February 2011

image for Crime hotspots website meltdown as millions key in Blairs' address
Dragging the nation's top mobster address into disrepute....

London - (Glitches): Connaught Square residents have told of their disgust as a new criminal hotspots website named them the nation's Number One.

"Surely we're only the second worst in the country," Dame Dilys Pillpoppa said today, "what with Buckingham Palace just around the corner?"

The website's tally of alleged Iraq War crimes and subprime mortgage scams sent Tony and Cherie Blair's London W1 address soaring with thousands of suspicious incidents.

The smart, heavily patrolled London square has long been rumored the UK's mobster capital with policing assigned to heavies from the Diplomatic Protection Racket's elite.

Government statistics have confirmed Connaught Square eclipses traditional rough and ready hellholes such as Tower Hamlets and Downing Street.

"The Blairs have brought the entire Connaught Estate into gerrymandering disrepute," ex-corner shop proprietor Mohammed Fayed told reporters.

"Where's my fuggin UK passport, eh?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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