Written by armfeetandtoe
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Monday, 31 January 2011

image for Passport control to be scrapped
A Polish man not disguising himself

Passport control in the UK will be scrapped as of midnight tonight.

The government says it will save 30 billion pounds a year and make economic recovery quicken pace with this saving.

Government Immigration spokes person Idi Amin, said:

"Yez, it am true, de guvernment haz given us job as security guard in tesco car park cos we no needed now. Dem say we no catch de himmigrant dat is illegal so wat de point of himmigration controls. Ey catch ten mens las wek, okay, dem me cousin an let dem in, but me still catch dem! Aye!

Professor Plum from the Cluedo statistics Office, said:

There are 70 million people in this country, five of whom live in Wales. If immigration and passport control are scrapped, according to our calculations, in ten years time, there will be 100 million people living here, and 6 people living in Wales.

Government official, Winston O'Churchill stated:

We can't waste money running around the country trying to catch a bunch of aliens, let them in! a couple of years in this country, and they will be leaving in droves. Even the one in Wales. Now, stop bleating and get on with helping us to squander your money.

The Scottish parliament said it was happy to accommodate a few foreigners to bolster the population of 10 Englishmen and an Irish Wolfhound.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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