Written by IainB
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Monday, 31 January 2011

image for Survey reveals men find transvestites disconcerting
I feel so free

You're in a bar. There's an attractive woman drinking alone. After talking to her for a few minutes, you realise something is not quite right. Then she goes to the gents, and you realise she was in fact a he. How do you react?

This is one of the questions that TV-Weekly put to ordinary men in the street. With five percent of men reputed to be cross dressers, it would have been expected that out of the five hundred surveyed at least twenty should have answered "(C) Swap make-up tips". Instead, over twenty percent answered "(A) Punch them", whilst nearly eighty percent answered "(B) Quietly leave".

"This is not what we expected," said TV-Weekly editor, Steven 'Stephanie' Summers. "All we can assume is that some of the men were lying."

The same men questioned didn't mind a woman wearing man's clothing, even in public, some even rating it as "(C) Sexy", revealing a deep seated unease with male to female cross dressers among men, some of whom must statistically be cross dressers themselves. TV Weekly has come to the remarkable conclusion that the twenty percent who would have punched the transvestite were harbouring deep desires to try on their partner's panties, in a Freudian way.

"It's the only explanation," said Summers. "The five percent is those that do it, there is another fifteen percent of men who just don't dare, but secretly want to."

William Gallop, who has been constructing polls for over a hundred years, believes that they constructed their survey incorrectly. "Their staff asked men," Gallop said. "In men's clothing. Perhaps they are not very adept at spotting the men who were in women's clothing? They should have asked them as well. Or, not asked inmates at Waltham Prison in front of each other as their sample."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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