Written by JAB
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Topics: wedding

Saturday, 29 January 2011

image for Julian Assange to Wed Catherine Elizabeth "Kate" Middleton

London, England - Kate Middleton, the daughter of Bertie Middleton and Elizabeth Middleton of Dorney, Buchinghamshire, is to be married April 29, 2011 to Julian Assange, the son of Louise Assange and Doctor Bud Assange of Mendax, Queensland.

Ms Middleton, 36, is the UK representative of Rock Me Baby Concert Promoters Ltd, representing such artists as Queen, Prince, Lindsey Buckingham and Will.i.am, of the Black Eyed Peas. She graduated from the University of St Andrews.

Her father founded Charles & Cam Equine Frozen Semen Ltd, catering to the Royal Families of Saudi Arabia, Jordan and Bahrain. Her mother is a West End theatre set designer whose work has included, The Prince and the Pauper, The King and I, Come Fly with Me and the current hit comedy, Coffee, Tea, or Me?.Her brother Harry is an instructor at the Police Academy in Windsor, Ontario Canada.

Mr Assange, 41, is a partner with Wicky & Leeks LLP, specializing in internet law. He graduated from the University of Melbourne with a degree in International law and computer science.

His mother is on the Board of Trustees of the Leakey Foundation funding research related to modern hunter-gatherer groups. His father is a Doctor of Oriental Medicine (OMD) specializing in internal disorders and infections such as Leaky Gut Syndrome (LGS), an increase in permeability of the internal mucosa causing "everyday" gas and bloating.
His sister Kate plays keyboard with Swedish Indie singer Lykke Li.

A scheduled honeymoon aboard the Queen Mary 2 to New York has been postponed until a later date.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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