The UK government has today admitted that plans to sell Cocaine as a 'light pick-me-up', have been approved by top-tier cabinet members. The plan is set to go to the vote on Wednesday.
The idea is that the government will 'cash in' by legalising certain soft-drinks and hot beverages containing the narcotic thereby increasing the coffers of the treasury and at the same time, beginning a hideous but fruitful spiral of junkyism.
No-one in government has been available to comment on the plans, but certain advertisement slogans have been suggested:
"Pick me up a pick-me-up, Shirley!"
"If I don't get my fix, I'll murder someone!"