Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 23 January 2011

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Caught of Westmonster CCTV

London - (House of Bawds): A doppleganger double of the House of Lords Leader may be stalking Westmonster, seducing silly peroxide slappers with a smooth line in pillowtalk.

"We think he's a sort of Mazher Mahmood for the brain-damaged," the Daily Chip Wrapper's society editor commented today as weekend red tops fanned a massive defamation flame.

My Noble Lord's lookalike impostor has been overheard offering Alternative Voting deals to nonagenarian prozac-sedated LibDem peers and other past-their-sell-by Lords.

Last week at a local Whitehall hostelry some ermine-clad cross-benchers swore blind they'd been offered half a million quid to relinquish their Upper House seats 'in exchange for autographing an anonymous document'.

Private detective sources reckon the fake peer has already been caught on CCTV.

A glitch on the Palace of Westmonster circuitry last Wednesday saw the po-faced roly-poly caught for twenty minutes in security turnstile.

The fire brigade was almost called out before a quick thinking official managed to squeeze the old faker out.

"Thought he looked a bit like that Matt Lucas chap," Blackrod's gofer said today.

Charlie Falconer is shitting bricks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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