Jordan's friends have tonight revealed that she dumped Alex Reid because he became an Alien. They say that at the end of their short marriage he wasn't the man she fell in love with.
Jordan is said to blame the sudden change on the newly discovered Alien Brain Beetles, which are said to turn people greedy and mean.
Alien Brain Beetles have also been found inside the brains of greedy bankers, professional footballers, tax evaders and members of the Royal family.
Jordan is said to be very sad about the tragedy and has made it clear that she will pay scientists a lot of money if they agree to do research to find a cure for Alien Brain Beetles.
David Cameron, however, has denied that Alien Brain Beetles were invented by Tombies (Tory/zombie hybrids) as a weapon in order to turn its victims into money making, fame obsessed, consumers.
The Alien Brain Beetles have been traced to the same basement in London that the Tombies themselves were created in. That's right, Margaret Thatcher's basement. It is thought that Margaret Thatcher is creating them by the thousand and then putting them in the London water supply.
Alex Reid is said to have issued a statment saying that he believes that Jordan is also the victim of brain bugs. But brain bugs of a very different type. He believes hers of the bovine variety.
By Katarina Frogpond.