Reports of a mobile phone, still ringing inside a crocodile in the Ukraine, have sent officers from the Met, aka Scotland Yard, scurrying to visit and examine the crocodile.
A police spokesman insisted that no croc would be left unturned in their continuing, belated search for clues in the never ending phone hacking scandal in the UK. Any lead is valuable and we must follow up any report of phones being disposed of in peculiar circumstances, the spokesman added.
Several Met officers, from the "Cruelty to Exotic Animals Unit", accompanied by a Ukrainian illegal immigrant, who will translate on the cheap, have flown to Kiev, Ukraine.
Reports that UK based journalists had travelled to the Ukraine to carry out clandestine snooping on Lord Prescott cannot be confirmed. UK Border Police were alerted to the trip by Lord Prescott when customs issued export certificates for 100 meat pies, so beloved of the Noble Lord. It is believed, by the Noble Lord, that his phone may have been hacked.
The Met, would also not confirm that officers carrying frogman suits had recently returned from Paris. It is being reported that the fountain at the "Place de la Concorde" has been dredged after suspicion fell on Andy Sachs, a character, in "The Devil wears Prada" who threw a suspicious looking mobile phone in the fountain in 2006.
Meryl Streep may be up for an Oscar this year - surprise!