Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Saturday, 22 January 2011

Future Queen of England Catherine Middleton takes her clothes off and gets naked with alarming regularity, it emerged yesterday!

Ms Middleton is scheduled to marry Prince William on April 29 and the country is looking forward to a national holiday to celebrate the royal event.

But there are now doubts hovering over the event in the light of the latest revelations that suggest the royal fiancee frequently "gets 'em off."

Our source, a registered professional idiot, told us: "I was at a club where Kate's chums regularly hang out, yah? Well, anyway, I overheard them chatting the other night and one of them was talking about Kate.

"She was saying that when she stayed with her one weekend last year, she went to ask her something but realised she was in the shower, and she noticed her clothes - including her underwear - were lying on the bed!

"Apparently she did this three or four times during her stay."

"Make of that what you will. Is the future queen of England a shameless hussy? I'm saying nothing."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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