The London police are tonight trying out an unusual defence plea after a complaint by John Prescott that they did not follow up a lead that his phone calls were being tapped by the News of the World.
The police are claiming that they did send someone round to John Prescott's house to look at the phone, but by the time they got there ... he'd eaten it.
A spokesperson for the police, called Sting, said "Its very difficult to follow up an investigation when the only means of examining the telephone is via a CT scan."
Mr Prescott is said to have said that this is absolute nonsense and that he never ate his telephone. His friends are said to be very angry, too. One said that John was the victim of police discrimination against fat people.
This hidden type of discrimination is one that overweight people suffer from everyday. Police are always blaming fat people when forensic evidence goes missing. Its happened for years. Its not new.
The most outrageous accusation of this type was used in the case of the Dounraey missing Uranium. 26 tons of uranium went missing last year and it was all blamed on fat people.
This is an outrage and should be stopped. Fat people do not eat everything they see. That's just a myth made up by a skinny person to explain why she kept losing her keys.
Now, where are my keys?
By Katarina Frogpond.