Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 21 January 2011

image for Iraq War 'inevitable' after protection cops confiscated gun from Cherie handbag, Chilcot Inquiry told
Diplomatic Bag: Iraq War became inevitable

London - (Pants-On-Fire): Diplomatic Protection Racket cops had seized the Smith & Wesson 9mm semi-automatic, a silencer and multiple rounds of ammo from Mrs Blair's mock-crock holdall, the Iraq War probe has heard.

The confiscation meant that no amount of legal advice from Lord Goldsmith - or any other stooge lawyer - could then sway Tony Blair's decision to attack Saddam.

Police had regularly managed to seize and destroy weapons found on the Prime Monster 'but Cherie was an altogether trickier problem' the Inquiry was told.

Blair's return from a trip to George Bush at Camp David in February 2001 saw him frisked on the flight back home.

Officers had discovered a Glock G21, half a dozen hand grenades, a poison dart blower and a Sicilian-style throttling ligature in the Prime Monster luggage.

The following year in April Blair's trip to Bush's Predator Chapel Farm home in Crawford, Texas, yielded a hand-held rocket launcher, twenty kilos of cluster bombs, a DIY landmine kit and 'dum-dum' bullets for a new Heckler & Koch.

These too were seized, Blair merely receiving a 'slap on the wrist' for improper use of the Diplomatic Bag.

The full inventory of weapons confiscated from Tony and Cherie has been banned from publication by Cabinet secretary Sir Gussett McDonald.

Next week's Wikileaks update will now spill the beans online.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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