Written by Inhopeless
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Thursday, 20 January 2011

image for Future News: Adolecent Homelessness Reaches All Time High
Out of Sight. Out of Mind. Out of Work.

(Published 2014) - LONDON URBEM - A new report has found out that nearly 8 in 10 young people are homeless.

The report found out that the unexpected spike was caused by the EMA cuts and tuition fee rises in the early part of this decade, enacted by the Tory government.

"Many youngsters have been forced out of home," said one who did not want to be named, "I didn't expect to be paying brobdingnagian sums plus interest for something the snobs in Whitehall got for nearly free, and my older peers got for a steal. I can never get a decent place to stay, yet the bankers are cheered on. I can manage to maybe find a quid in the gutter, but then the student loans man takes it off me. Fair? Why, of course it is...!"

Coupled with the lack of available jobs in the professional sector, there are penniless, qualified youths on the streets.

"Just this morning," said an MP representing Birmingham Ladywood, "I drove by a grizzled lad who was offering to wash my car and make it run more smoother by using Cohen's Co-efficient or something like that. Poor guy."

Of course, this has bitten our Tory government in the buttocks, with more 18-25 year olds claiming jobseekers' allowance, costing the state millions.

Of course, due to the cuts and fee rises, many students who would have got a cheap, good education are now left with few options, with many turning to crime, drink, and drugs to help cope with feelings of inadequacy.

It still appears that for how many times buzzwords are repeated, the wealth of your parents, and the undertones of the government still determine your wealth.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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