A gay woman from London today revealed her shame on national radio. "I can confirm that Jonathon Ross is my dad", said the woman.
"This has been something of a family secret but we all agreed that if anyone ever asked, we would answer honestly. In today's society, there should be no shame in having someone like Jonathon Ross as your dad but there are a lot of bigots about who try to make things difficult."
She continued, "If coming out in this way helps other people with dads like Jonathon Ross, that will be a good thing. This is the twenty first century - we don't lock people like him up any more. He is free to roam the streets wearing weird clothes and to leave answerphone messages anywhere he wants. He is not an animal!"
Campaign group, Rossys Against National Contempt Or Ridicule (RANCOR), welcomed the "brave statement" and said that a "sinister media cabal" had stopped coverage of Ross-related stories on TV over the past 12 months.
A spokesman for the radio station later commented, "And now for the travel news".