Sandringham, Norfolk - (Lèse Majesté): Palace officials have taken the precaution of removing sharp objects, toxins and non-prescription stimulants that have propped up her useless - and largely fictitious - reign.
Fears that Queen Elizabeth may try to ape King George V's demise in a copycat euthanasia RIP have touched some raw nerves among paranoid royal astrologers.
Thursday's solar ingress into the sign of Aquarius, the Oil Pipeline Bearer could be pivotal - given HM's 10% rake-off in the recent BP/Rosneft crude deal.
Zodiac chart comparisons to 20th January 1936 showcase some terrible faultlines in Elizabeth's judgement, seeded by her ignoble Nazi/KGB bloodline.
Seventy five years ago on Thursday in Paris's famous George Sank Hotel the dying monarch famously cussed his medical entourage as a lethal cocktail of cocaine and morphine were injected into his jugular.
A diary entry by his personal physician, Professor Einstein Flintstone, famously recorded King George's 'God Damn You!' last words as the needle entered his failing body.
"Of course, she might try to top herself, just to spite Hellfire Club stargazers," a constitutional lawyer commented today.
"Heaven help the potty ragbag of wannabe HMs she leaves behind."