Echoing the trenchant defence of the health service by Margaret Thatcher David Cameron announced today: 'The NHS is safe in our hands.'
As if anyone would think that the National Health Service was not safe in the hands of those who have always cared so passionately about supporting the Service brought in by the Labour Government from 1945 - 1951. Nye Bevan, the architect of the NHS, which the Conservatives opposed at the time, has always been a favourite of Carlton Club members.
But, of course, Cameron meant by NHS - the National Hack Service - especially his Communications Director Andy Coulson. 'When it comes to a hack' Cameron disclosed 'Andy is a shining star. He's a master of evading responsibility - just the sort of person I like in my team!'
As tax dodgers tremble at the news that Rudolf Elmer, a former top Banker has given Wikileaks thousands of details on eminent very rich people who have managed to avoid paying taxes, the 'News of the World' investigative journalists, thinking of their former boss Andy Coulson are puzzled that they were not given the opportunity to have this material.
'It must be because we have more important things to do - like hassling sick footballers and poncing off celebrities. It is surely hacks like us that are safe with Cameron National Hackers Service.'