Written by IainB
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Monday, 17 January 2011

image for The Isle of Mull is stolen
Miss Hoolie admires the suddenly clearer waters around Mull

The Isle of Mull, home to the Mull of Kintyre (made famous by Paul McCartney's dirge) and Tobomory (which gained fame as the children's TV show Balamory), has been stolen.

The first anybody knew of the theft was when the SatNav on the Mull Ferry announced "You have reached your destination" despite there only being water ahead of the boat.

"At first," said captain of the Ferry, Donald McDonald, "we thought the darned SatNav was on the blink. However, despite Campbell the engineer smacking it with a hammer, it insisted we were at Mull. We ended up coming back and reporting the theft of the Isle of Mull."

The famous island used to be off the West Coast of Scotland, but as of this morning, has appeared in Indonesia.

"We don't know how they did it," said local policeman, PC Plum. "But by golly it's a lot warmer here. I may have to take off my hat."

Local residents at Tobomory are still able to make local phone calls to their friends and relatives on the main land, despite it now being eleven thousand miles away.

"There was a slight tremor," said PC Plum, "And suddenly it was the middle of the day. And a lot warmer. Did I mention that already?"

Indonesia claim to know nothing of the theft and are actually requesting that the UK take the island back, as it is blocking a major shipping route. As yet nobody has taken responsibility for the theft, or given any indication on how they did it.

"We are in negotiations to secure the return of the island," said David Cameron. "However, the logistics are highly complicated and we might have to put VAT up again to pay for it."

The British government are also considering putting the island in Morecambe Bay instead as this would mean more English can visit more easily, and a couple of bridges between Morecambe and Barrow and the island would hopefully secure it in place and stop it being stolen again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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