Written by queen mudder

Print this
Topics: Sex, Prostitutes

Monday, 17 January 2011

image for Kew Gardens a hotbed of vice as manager pulled in prostitution scam
A punter complained about greenfly inside his Y-fronts after a quickie against the Pumping Room trellis

West London - (Reuterus): Topless pics of the corpulent ugly-mug were found on a Royal Botanical Gardens laptop at the weekend.

They showed 35 year-old Helen Marsters frolicking naked while running Kew Gardens visitor centre.

Today the pug-faced lardarse got her marching orders after bosses outed the seedy sideline.

Marsters was also caught 'shagging above her payscale' in a management orifice and posting the footage on the YouBoob! site.

But her protests that she's the biggest visitor attraction in the gardens' 121 hectares have been soundly rubbished.

One irate punter has complained his fifty quidsworth of knee-trembler nookie left him wilting like a overblown pansy.

Another said he found greenfly inside his Y-fronts after a quickie against the Pumping Room trellis.

Sympathetic pals have pointed out that if Masters had been blond, slim and non-simian looking ....she would still have been a bloody tart.

The price of a one-day ticket to the world famous gardens is £69.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 plus 5?

2 10 19 6

Go to top