Written by Inchcock
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Monday, 17 January 2011

image for Worries over Samantha Cameron - the woman behind our Nepotistic... I mean National Coalition Government!
Dr Mengele apologised for taking 4 minutes to respond to call, explaining he is not getting any younger.

David Cameron is a direct descendant of King William IV and his mistress Dorothea Jordan.

This illegitimate line consists of five generations of women on his father's maternal side starting with Elizabeth Hay, Countess of Erroll née FitzClarence, William and Jordan's sixth child, through to the fifth female generation Enid Agnes Maud Levita.

Cameron's maternal grandfather was Sir William Mount, 2nd Baronet, an army officer and the High Sheriff of Berkshire, and Cameron's maternal great-grandfather was Sir William Mount, 1st Baronet, CBE, Conservative MP for Newbury 1918-1922.

Lady Ida Matilde Alice Feilding, Cameron's great-great grandmother, was the daughter of William Feilding, 7th Earl of Denbigh, GCH, PC, a courtier and Gentleman of the Bedchamber.

Samantha Cameron is the elder daughter of Sir Reginald Adrian Berkeley Sheffield, 8th Baronet[5] (a landowner and a thrice descendant of King Charles II of England) and his first wife Annabel Lucy Veronica Jones.

Samantha grew up on the 400-acre (176-hectare) estate of Normanby Hall, five miles north of Scunthorpe in North Lincolnshire.

Her family also owns a large Yorkshire estate called Sutton Park.

She attended the private School of St Helen and St Katharine in Abingdon, Oxfordshire, and then took her 'A' levels at Marlborough College in Wiltshire.

She did an art foundation course at Camberwell College of Arts and then went on to study Fine Art at the School of Creative Arts, part of the University of the West of England. It was while she was a drug loving student there that she met David Cameron through her acquaintance with his sister Clare, and later wedded David Cameron.

EXTRA Just in!:
This morning 18th January 2011, doctors were called to attend to Samantha, as she suffered a coughing/choking bout at home.

The third assistant butler of the household, Manuel Obotomba, told our reporter how this happened:
"Well, you see, she was soaking in a bath of scented milk, sipping champagne listening to radio 4 this morning, and to her beloved husband being interviewed about his proposed upcoming changes to the NHS. when in reply to one of the questions he said, 'Doctors are very keen on my ideas, and patients, who as you know I care for deeply about..."

At this point she started to choke on the caviare, and started turning red, and that would never be acceptable!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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