Written by Inchcock
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Sunday, 16 January 2011

image for Nottingham Public Toilet Doors to be given Names in place of Numbers!
Nottingham City Council to use names for Public WC doors

Nottingham Spoof Gazette - Despite the spending cutbacks, Councillors on the Labour controlled Nottingham City Council, have agreed as part of the 'softening' of the perception of it having the 'Crime Queen City of the Midlands' reputation.

Councillor Mr X Spences said: "We are determined that just because of a few unfortunate incidents in the City this year to date, like the three murders, eleven rapes, five stabbings, and 37 muggings, people living in other areas get the idea that Nottingham is a rough City."

He continued, "Along with other initiatives we hope the giving of names instead of numbers to WC cubicles will be a catalyst for the beautification of Nottingham, in keeping with the wonderfully eclectic mix of unemployed, suicidal, criminal, and benefit reliant people who live here"

Roving reporter Inchcock asked: "Has the council yet decided on any names suitable to use?"

"Well," interposed Councillor E Gowriden, Head of the Lack-of-finances committee: "After a full meeting of the Council, followed by three sub-finance consideration meetings, and a council Visit to Honolulu to look at their toilet doors, we came up with the following names for further consideration after the next visit to check out New Zealands WC doors, Bottomley, Cameron, Hague, Osborne, Clarke, Virginia and other members of the coalition Government".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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