Police in London have swooped on the home of an outrightly gay man after he wrote a letter to the Labour Party Member of Parliament Peter Manhandelson (misprint intended) asking for an 'autograph'.
The man, Larry Sabu, 20, initially wrote to mr Manhandelson (misprint intended) last October asking for his autograph, but when he received exactly that in a courteous reply, Sabu contacted the MP again, saying that the word 'autograph' in Gayspeak meant something entirely different.
After making a few discreet phone calls to contacts in the gay community, I was able to establish that the term 'autograph' in gay circles does not mean swiftly scribbling your name on a piece of paper, but, instead, means "using one's penis to inscribe one's initials in fresh semen upon a gentleman's silk handkerchief".
Mr Sabu rebuked Mr Manhandelson (misprint intended) for not knowing this, whereupon the gay MP called in the police, who whisked Larry away to a secret location whilst they 'questioned' him.
After his release last night, Mr Sabu told reporters:
"That was great! When I was a little boy, I always wanted to grow up a policeman!"