A gay man's aspirations to become a wealthy man have floundered once again after his third successive business venture has failed miserably.
Larry Sabu, 20, started up an art business in a shed in his mothers garden in a bid to become rich beyond his wildest dreams and eventually get a plinth dedicated entirely to his works in Trafalger Square with all the other modern art shite.
"I wanted to draw pictures of little boys' arses...just like the Old Masters did", he explained.
But Larry's plan had one fatal flaw: he couldn't draw a straight line.
"Being gay, I soon discovered that I could only do bent lines...", Larry explained, "so I basically ended up doing a load of circles and nothing more"
It was then too late, as Larry had squandered his government grant funding of £25 on buying ice-cream cones and amusement arcade 'rides' for his 'muses'.
But Larry still tries to look on the bright side of things:
"Maybe drawings not my thing, but I could always try my hand at sculpture. I can just picture myself moulding a little boys body out of clay...."