Reserve Forces from Army TA Centre Newport launched a pre-emptive strike against pothole positions east of the city this morning on major highways leading towards Ryde and Sandown hoping to forestall an anticipated pincer movement by pothole forces west into the capital city.
The strike was led by a battery of WWII vintage Vickers Mk 6 Howitzers firing MkIII high explosive shells with a range of 9,800 metres. Firing began at 4 a.m. in the morning from the western outskirts of Newport and continued on to 8 a.m. when resistance by potholes was gauged sufficiently weakened by Major General Sheldon Spence to end the attack and allow him to return to work to his job as a chemist.
Once the fog of war cleared Island Forces were disappointed to see that victory was not to be theirs as potholes had not only not been damaged by the attack but had redoubled in size and number as result of the deadly barrage with many reported to be the size of large craters.
The skirmish is yet another disappointment for islanders in an ongoing struggle against potholes on The Isle of Wight this winter.