Written by Nae mair crap
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Saturday, 15 January 2011

image for The English local library with no books to lend
back up stock of the classics, undercover for security reasons

UK minister for Local Government has been left holding his head in his hands. The Right Honourable, Eric Pickles is in a real pickle today.

Residents of Stony Stratford, near Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire have emptied their local library of all 16,000 volumes available for lending.

Their library is now bookless, all shelves vacant and empty, with no returns to fill the void. Mr Pickles is at a loss. His 27% cuts in Library Services has turned into a 100% loss in one week.

FOSSL (Friends of Stony Stratford Library) have organised a mass withdrawal of all books from the library to protest the Tory government cuts in services. However, the truth, is somewhat more sinister.

An anonymous resident, laughing and slapping his thighs with mirth, has disclosed the real reason.

"Some of us heard that the library recently took delivery of one copy of TheSpoof.com Annual for 2011. As we all love these stories we had to have this rare publication. And it has not disappointed. It was only when we had withdrawn 15,000 plus volumes from the library that the prize came into our grasping, greedy little hands. We are sharing the annual, a few hours for each person at a time because people have suffered cracked ribs, lockjaw and other ailments laughing so much. We are not giving this book back. Favourites? Too many to mention, but there is this Royal person and a Canadian dame..............."

Mr Pickles is currently trolling local, bargain, bookshops for cheap replacements.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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