Written by Simon Cole

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Topics: Gordon Brown

Saturday, 15 January 2011

image for Get me out of here, says Gordon Brown
Brown scrawled on one of the sheets

TV pictures from the Ivory Coat recently caught a glimpse of a dirty sheet hanging from one of the windows of Abidjan's Golf Hotel. The words Help. Get me out of here. Gordon Brown, were scrawled on it in thick back felt tip pen.

Nobody took any notice of it, but one trainee journalist decided to follow it up to see if there was anything in it.

He discovered that Gordon Brown, Britain's last failed Prime Minister had been holed up in the hotel with the looser of Ivory Coast's presidential elections, advising him how to stay in power. When it became obvious that he had nothing to offer, the failed president wandered off and forgot all about him.

The journalist called the number of a backstreet office in London, and the phone was answered by someone who would only give the name 'Mandy'. Yes indeed, this person said, Gordon Brown had gone to the Ivory Coast and no, no-one had noticed he was missing. 'Mandy' promised to call back if there was any further news.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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