It has been discovered that Harry Potter is indeed the great grandson of famous children's author and much loved, Beatrice Potter who resided in The Lake District.
Apparently, Beatrix gave birth to a daughter and had her adopted by Enid Blyton as Beatrix was far too busy writing about Peter Rabbit and his woodland friends, to take care of a baby.
Enid, with the help of a couple of nannies, because she TOO was busy writing amazing books for children, brought up the little girl, who grew into a beautiful young woman, woo-ed by many suitors.
The young woman had been named Penelope, by Beatrix, as a baby, before she'd handed her over to the care of Enid Blyton.
Penelope fell in love with a wonderful poet and they eventually wed, producing two children - twins - a boy and a girl who they named Stephen (middle name 'King') and J.K. Their daughter was only given initials because they were both drunk when they registered her.
Years later, J.K. gave birth to a wonderful bouncing baby boy who she named Harry. J.K. was so proud to be related to Beatrix Potter that she gave Harry Beatrix's surname.
J.K. went on to follow in her ancestor's footprints and she wrote many books about her son Harry. These books were pure fantasy because the REAL Harry Potter grew up to be a con artist, arsonist and suffered from delusions of grandeur.
He is currently on 'America's Most Wanted' list. He was last sighted in Sherwood Forest in England, running around wearing green tights. The Sherrif of Nottingham is hot on his trail and says that an arrest is imminent.
More as we get it.