Written by j.w.
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Topics: Flooding

Thursday, 13 January 2011

image for Shock Flood Hits Village
Trout Causes Flood

A village yet to be named in Yorkshire has suffered a shock flood.

Pensioner, Bill Trout, decided to have a bath yesterday and whilst listening transfixed to Question Time in the House of Commons he forgot to turn off his taps.

He was yelling at the screen: 'You load of flaming turds' when drips fell from his ceiling and shortly after a stream of water cascaded down his stairs. Bill's wife had gone shopping and had met several people she had to converse with for a considerable time, so he was on his own.

He struggled to get up the stairs but was not helped by his anger at David Cameron not answering the questions about Bankers bonuses. He could not allow this evasion to go by without a good shout at the television: 'You're in the pockets of those greedy Bankers, your Etonian pals!'

By this time the stream of water had turned into a cascade and Bill decided to see if he could get some help. When he opened his door the water swept into the street and knocked several people over.

'What are you up to Trout?' asked a neighbour who was Bill's number 1 enemy who watched Sky News.

'I've left the tap running and I can't get up the stairs!'

'Call the fire brigade you stupid git!' came the helpful call.

But Bill couldn't get back to make the call. The river flowed down the street and as the drains were blocked with leaves the water rapidly rose. It began to pour with rain and the whole village was deluged with a shock flood.

'And they think they've got it bad in Australia' screamed Edith Trout as she swam up the road to try and get home.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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