Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Meerkats

Thursday, 13 January 2011

image for Easy on the mayo, guys, as dead meerkat found in sandwich
Sandwich residents were stunned

Kent - (Lettuce Prey): The body of a dead meerkat, missing from a Kent wildlife park, has been found inside a sandwich.

Local shoppers say bits of the furry roadkill were seen protruding from the £2.50p organic wholegrain toastie at St Bart's Road Deli-Diner.

Sandwich bar owners Doris and Boris Coleslaw say they have no idea how the dead animal ended up on the cold shelf of their popular lunchtime variety selection.

A call to the RSPCA soon saw the arrival of Wingham Wildlife Park officials who took away the corpse and later confirmed the dead beastie had been microchipped.

"Bit of a fiddly task, that," Park vet Russell Warren said today, "having to negotiate all the shredded lettuce and gloopy ketchup before we found the actual chip."

The meerkat, dubbed 'Mr Simples', had been living in a colony at the wildlife reserve before going missing at the weekend.

Environmental Health Agency officials may now launch an inquiry after members of the public complained about the sandwich's organic and fur trade - er...fairtrade! - credentials.

With special thanks to Spoof News Reporter Skoob1999 for launching the 2011 meerkat debate!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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