Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: pets, Meerkats

Wednesday, 12 January 2011

image for Meerkats Make Crap Pets
Hey! Get That Camera Off Me! I Ain't No Meerkat!

A leading veterinarian today urged the public - via his website - not to buy meerkats as pets, mainly because they're a massive pain in the arse in real life.

The problem arises from the popularity of TV shows such as Meerkat Manor, and ad campaigns for comparison websites which feature CGI animated meerkats.

The public appears to have fallen in love with meerkats; ergo, it was only ever a matter of time before some rogue trader started selling them off as family pets.

As is often the case in life, the reality of having meerkats as pets, and the fantasy of it all are two vastly different things.

"It isn't a good idea to keep them as pets," vet James Bleriot told Skoob News. "They have a very selective diet for starters - grubs, grasshoppers, insects, small rodents - you can't just throw 'em a Monster Munch every now and then and expect them to thrive on it. They just don't work that way."

Another problem associated with the cuddly little critters, is where to keep them. They have quite far reaching territory in the wild, so to put them in a small suburban back garden isn't such a good idea.

Then there are the burrows. Meerkats love digging. Give them soft sandy earth, and they'll happily dig away all day and all night, but they will probably undermine the foundations of your residence to such a degree, that it will eventually collapse.

Bleriot told us that it isn't such a great idea keeping them indoors either.

"They don't like living indoors," he said. "They aren't genetically programmed for it. Because they're wild animals, they absolutely stink, and they're positively crawling with fleas and ticks. Besides, you wouldn't want a mob of them running round your house, sitting up on point and chattering like the clappers while you're trying to settle down to watch Coronation Street."

We leave the final word with zookeeper, Leonard 'Lefty' Cuttlefish, who looks after the meerkats at Marwell Zoo, near Winchester, in Hampshire:

"I blame these compare the meerkat advertising campaigns. I mean, another comparison website uses that fat bloke singing opera as a marketing tool. You wouldn't want one of him as a pet - so why a meerkat?"

Indeed.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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