Written by Reddon
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Topics: Murder, blood, Werewolf, Owls

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

image for Tourist mutilated on the moors - chum survives
An owl on the moors in the dark

It's just emerged that two young American student/tourists have been attacked by a mysterious creature, on the moors. At night, in the dark.

In a chillingly similar scenario to that depicted in the motion picture film An American Werewolf In London, the pair had become lost in heavy mists before stumbling across an isolated public house - The Ritual Slaughter, at Upper Mentham on The Beam, which is a small village. Deep on the moors.

The two young men ordered half a lager and a bottle of something with a worm in it at the bar, before sitting down in order to wait for the mist to lift.

One local said:

"We went and fell silent when they came into the pub. We don't much care for strangers round these parts, you see. They usually means murders and mutilations and stuff like that. It's never a good idea for strangers to come to our pub. As these two proved. So what we did, was, we fell silent, and we sort of subjected them to the death stare. It's just the way we does things up here."

Further reports have the two young men asking the pub landlady - a buxom wench with much sultry cleavages and a painted visage - for directions to The Owl And Flypress Hotel in Much Wassailing On The Water, which lies twenty five mile due east of The Ritual Slaughter, but which can be reached in less as the badger limps.

On a good day.

Upon being told by the buxom landlady with visage of crimson lips and greasepaint that she knew of no such establishment, the two young tourists - by now visibly in discomfiture - drained their glasses and departed into the blackening night.

In the dark. As an owl hooted.

Regulars at The Ritual Slaughter later related how they heard an unholy roar, and the desperate screams of the young American gentlemen.

Investigations into the glowering dark on the misty moonlit moor quickly revealed that one of the young gentleman had been physically rent asunder into at least five pieces, and that he was, in fact, quite dead.

The young man's travelling companion was found alive, though inconvenienced by a series of slash and bite wounds to his head and throat. He was taken by air ambulance to The Royal Horrorshow Hospital in that London, and transfused with the blood of a willing goat.

It is thought that at some point, sometime in the near future, he will probably have sex with the popular actress, Jenny Agutter in the shower.

Although this has yet to be confirmed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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