China has released the news that one of their precious panda-bears, Tian Tian, is to be moved to a Zoo in Scotland. The reason for this astonishing move is that Tian Tian only gets "turned on" when she hears bagpipes playing.
It seems that Scottish bagpipes make her hot and horny? It was pure coincidence that the Chinese zoo keepers discovered this fact. Tian Tian was chomping away at her bamboo shoots in the zoo when a Scottish bagpipe player, Willie Macknocknee, arrived in his kilt and uniform.
He was so infatuated with cute Tian Tian that he give her a rendition of "Bonnie Scotland" on the bagpipes. Normally Tian Tian is pretty disinterested in her male suitors, but as soon as she heard the pipes blowing she laid on her back, spread her legs out and obviously wanted a piece of the action.
The Chinese zoo-keepers tried this several times and every time she heard the pipes, she reacted the same.
Now she's moving to the home of bagpipes and kilts and male panda-bears are being shipped from all over the world hoping that Tian Tian will oblige.
There is one slight hitch in the story, panda experts actually think it might just be that Tian Tian only wants a quick glimpse of what a Scotsman really wears under his kilt (nothing) and nothing to do with the music.
We'll keep you informed if Tian Tian really gets turned on by the music or just loves a Scotsman's pride and joy, his bagpipes?