The depth of the Pothole Problem has reached an all-time low on British roads.
'There are yawning gaps everywhere,' complained an exhausted motorist trying to drive around several potholes. 'My car is falling to pieces.'
Insurance companies are digging into their reserves to pay out on all the extra claims by motorists whose cars have become total wrecks. It is estimated that almost 20,000 citizens reported pothole problems last year, with estimates of non-reported holes doubling that number.
However, if you live in Bath you will find 99% of potholes are repaired quickly whilst Dumfries and Galloway are the worst places to drive with potholes unrepaired.
With petrol prices going up and insurance bound to rise steeply there is discontent among motorists rising to levels never before known.
'It is bound to get worse,' said AA spokesman Jim Carr. 'All local authorities are cutting down on road maintenance, this can only result in more potholes into which we are going to sink. It is only a matter of time before a car actually disappears down a hole.'
The Motorist Action Group has declared a 'Holey War' taking direct action by painting white circles around all potholes. Some are planting flags in the holes with comments such as 'Fill Me Up' and 'Danger to Drivers'.
Police fear traffic will have to be diverted to avoid the worst areas.
'This whole movement is plumbing new depths' commented Chief Constable Cave.