Andy Coulson, David Cameron's Communications Director and former editor of the 'News of the World' was unable to comment on fresh allegations concerning journalists at the NoW who allegedly gained illegal access into the phones of a number of celebrities.
'He's got a hacking cough' a source at No 10 told me when I asked Andy for a comment 'he would love to speak to you but he has to save his voice for the PM.'
Annoyed at being put second to David Cameron I left no stone unturned to reveal the hidden truth about Coulson. I even called Rupert Murdoch at Sky headquaters somewhere in Heaven and was given a right brush off. 'Mr Murdoch is a very busy man' said a charming young representative 'he has no time for investigative reporters who want to poke their noses into his affairs.'
I complained that his newspapers were renowned for poking nosed investigative reporters. 'It depends what you want to investigate. As Mr Murdoch is above the earth he is beyond investigation. We expect that within a year to have sown up all media outlets in Britain.'
'You are forgetting the internet!' I exclaimed.
'We are working on that. You are on a short rope Spoofy. Don't be surprised if it tightens and chokes you.'
'I say. That's not cricket!'
'Mr Murdoch has no time for cricket since Australia were humiliated by England and lost the Ashes.'