BIRMINGHAM - The nation has succumbed to the deadly influenza, as predicted by the media.
Orthomyxoviridae B has wiped out nearly 100% of the UK population, with this reporter possibly the only one left in Birmingham. However, he too, is suffering from Orthomyxoviridae B, and may join them.
Sadly, the flu jabs that were for swine flu (Orthomyxoviridae A), did not work on this new flu, so therefore, millions of taxpayer money has been wasted.
There would've been some science expert talking to us, but there literally is no-one here. But, however, this reporter has an A* in GCSE Biology, so it's all good.
"Well," he said, to no-one, "Nobody listened to the 'armageddon' stories the newspapers have been pushing. Maybe this strain of flu is, like, really powerful?"
After wandering around the city centre for two hours, there is still no sign of anyone.
This reporter then sent out an emergency broadcast from the many broadcast stations in the city asking for other people.
As of press time, there is nobody. Seriously. This reporter is getting really bored out of his mind.