The coalition government have decided to levy a 'stupidity tax' at a rate of 9% over the base rate of bank of England. Ministers are now optimistic the UK will be debt free in a matter of months.
Our political correspondent Pinot Pesto said: 'This controversial tax will hit many low paid earners as it is less likely to impact the Doctors and Barristers of the UK.'
A minister said: 'Teams of tax inspectors will be patrolling the streets in vans looking for stupid people to fine on the spot. We don't expect them to be short of work either. It will be like taking candy from a baby only it'll be money and a person will have an equivalent IQ'
Rumour has it the vans have been patrolling the streets of Birmingham, Manchester and Liverpool for the last two weeks and trials state they would have netted in excess of £1million already had the tax been in place.
A Labour shadow minister said: 'What's next, detector vans parked outside the 'X-Factor' auditions or live shows like 'Hole in the Wall' and 'Jeremy Kyle?''