Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Friday, 7 January 2011

image for Phil The Greek Restores Noble Right Of Prima Nocta

In what is likely to be seen as a highly controversial move, HRH Prince Philip has taken it upon himself to restore the ancient noble's right of Prima Nocta. This is the right which allows a senior royal to have sexual rights to the wife of a newly married man on the night of their wedding.

Prince Philip has long been bemoaning the dearth of attractive young women in his life and has been particularly stirred up by the announcement of the pending marriage of Prince William to Kate Middleton. It seems he is also anticipating the not too distant marriage of Prince Harry, who he reckons will settle down with an absolute stunner.

A senior royal courtier told us, "Prince Philip has decided that it is high time that an old man had some fun again. He is aware that the young ladies in question might not still be virgins, but he still believes that they have only, relatively recently, been relieved of their virginity by his grandsons. This will do for him".

Prince Philip is believed to have discussed his plans with the Queen, who, whilst not initially keen on the idea, has agreed if it will keep the old duffer happy. Prince Philip is believed to have first considered the idea prior to the wedding of Charles & Camilla. However, he deemed Camilla to be too much of an old boot and assumed that she had probably lost her virginity before she failed her GCSEs.

An insider tells us that Prince Charles is also considering restoring the right of Prima Nocta to his household. The ancient right will, however, be modified and will apply when any of his female staffers decide to marry.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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