Written by queen mudder
Print this

Thursday, 6 January 2011

image for Astrologers warn of Kate Middleton wedding disaster ahead of troubling birthday aspects
Foolish social climber Kate's birthday chart spells disaster

London - (Portents): The royal wannabe and New Labour hoaxer's birthday on Sunday is riddled with disaster star gazers have warned.

An apocalyptic aspect between the Sun and Saturn on her Saturn Return anniversary will see Kate Middleton's gargantuan social climbing ambitions bite the dust.

The Capricorn/Libra clash takes place in Kate's twelfth house of deceptions and humbug, triggering seismic fault lines in the Middleton family's aspirations

"It's a scam alright," London astrologer Ann Dromeda commented today.

"That Saturn Return is a pivotal point in any zodiac chart and Kate's is no different.

"Only a fool could swallow that much crap."

Clarence House sources reacted swiftly, vehemently denying that 'Kate is a swallower'.

But London nightclub insiders insist Kate 'had to swallow' - at least once - in order to get her grubby mitts on that sapphire and diamond engagement ring.

Chelsy Davy is 69.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 3?

7 17 9 12
67 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more