Hampshire farmer, Ichabod Burrzeman was last night doing the rounds of his land near Odiham, when he was astonished to see a bright light in the sky - which appeared to be be coming closer, in fact, right in his direction.
Paralysed with paralysis, Burrzeman froze solid as it became clear that the object was nothing to do with nearby RAF Odiham, but more likely of extra terrestrial origin.
The craft was reported as being circular in shape, with flashing lights, bits that spun around, three retractable legs, a TV aerial, a stovepipe chimney, a washing line, and some alien bumper stickers.
Burrzeman feared that the pilot of the craft may have been drinking - or whatever aliens do - as the landing was somewhat erratic, with the craft weaving about in the sky like a falling leaf before landing with a hefty bump and a prolonged scream from the drive motor.
Not to mention a huge pile of ploughed up soil.
At this point, the crew emerged from the ship. Burrzeman takes up the story:
"There was five of 'em," he said, "Silver coloured fellas with big black eyes, fat arses and big feet. Anyway, they wuz all staggering about like they was pissed up, and they appeared to be shouting at one other, waving their arms about and having a right old tear up. Of course, I don't speak no Alien, but the body language appeared to imply that three of the five really didn't want to be on our planet because it's a bit shit. Anyway, this went on for a good few minutes, then they started pushing one another, and shoving, and gesticulating, then they got back on board and zoomed off into the sky again. Bizarre, it were. Damned if I've ever seen such weird aliens in me life, and I've seen quite a few of them, I can tell you."
More as we get it.