Inchcock Chambers, the retarded and horrifically inept Spoof reporter, has many part time jobs due to the lack of pay he does not receive, including one as the vergers second assistant/cleaning trainee at St John's Church.
In late December, Inchcock was cleaning out the pews where William Jefferson Hague had been sitting with his male assistants for the service earlier - and he came across a scribbled poem, that he believed was written by the Member of Parliament, and First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Foreign & Commonwealth Affairs, as he toyed with his assistants accoutrements during the service.
He this week revealing document for the perusal of the proletariat.
I wonder if things will be the same in the afterlife?
Will folk still walk about with a viscious drawn-knife?
Will I be able to understand people from Fife?
Will I be pestered by the voting lowlife?
Will I still live a prosperous superior life?
Will Lib-Dem alliances still be rife?
Will I continue fiddling expenses without any strife?
Will I still cheat with men, on Ffion, my wife?
In the unlikely event that this is not Willies work, Inchcock would like to apologise in advance. But the gold pen with pink engraved artwork on it, found under the pew, leaves little doubt really.