Written by Lady Godiva
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Friday, 31 December 2010

image for Newby, Isle of Wight, preparing to 'see in 2011' in style. Susan Boyle to sing Auld Lang Syne via satellite.
Fireworks planned for Newby's New Year Celebrations

Residents of Newby, Isle of Wight, are preparing to see in the New Year in style.

A huge glittery ball has been erected on the village green and is set, hopefully, to 'fall' at midnight. This is the very first time such a spectacular event has been planned and it is hoped that local hydraulic engineer, Johnny Airshunt, will be able to, successfully carry out the operation.

The glittery ball measures 15 metres in diameter and all the glitter has been applied to the ball by members of the Women's Institute. They have painstakingly glued 2 million silver sequins to the ball. This took hours of dedication from members.

A huge fireworks' display is planned to begin at midnight. Many rockets (more than the five which were lit last year) are expected to be part of this spectacle.

The Newby Women's Institute will provide the food, jacket potatoes topped with Bailey's Irish Cream are said to be on the menu in an attempt to cheer up the revellers.

Susan Boyle will be appearing, allbeit by satellite, to sing Auld Lang Syne on a huge screen erected on the village green. Villagers had hoped that Susan Boyle would appear in person but received a message that she has been invited to sing at her local church in Blackburn and has, obviously, accepted this invitation. She has, however, promised to attend the May Day Celerations in Newby, Isle of Wight, in 2011.

Residents have drawn up a contract for Susan to ensure that she keeps her promise to attend the May Day Celebrations and hope to have it signed in the next few days, or they say they intend to sue Sue.

The residents of The Isle of Wight wish all readers a Very Happy New Year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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